Unavoidable Laws of Life...

When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)

A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)

When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)

Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)

When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)

If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)

Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)

You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)

Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)

If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)

The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)

The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)

Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)"

Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo.(The donking principle)

After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)

Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)

Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway." (Theory of absolute certainty)

MiSsIoN ExEcUtIoN

funny video

here is a link to a kool video....
check it out.....
http://www.deknarp.com/video/498918569

hope you like it....

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

• BOY : May I hold your hand?
  GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

• GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
  BOY : You love me...

• GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
  BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

• GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
  BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

• GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
  BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
  

• BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
  GIRL : How soon??
  

• BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
  GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
  

• MAN : You remind me of the sea.
  WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
  MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
  

• WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
  HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
  

• MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,Peter?
  PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
  

• Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
  Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
  

• Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
  Pupil : "The moon"..
  Teacher : "Why?"
  Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
  

• Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
  Pupil : "A teacher".
  

• Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
  Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
  

• My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
  

• Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
  Sam : "It's a family tradition".
  Teacher : "What do you mean?"
  Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
  Teacher : "What about your mother?"
  Sam : "She's a woman".

• Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
  David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
  

• Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
  Student : "Brotherly love".
  

• Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
  Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
  

• Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
  Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
  

• Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
  One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
  

• Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
  One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Daddy, how was I born

Little boy goes to his father and asks,
"Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find
out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set
up a date via e-mail with your Mom and me met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a
download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered
that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late
to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up
appeared and said:
You got Male !!!!................

Go.....GOF !!!!

This is for emma's fan(i m 1 of thm)

Salary theorem

This theorem states that engineers and scientists can never ever earn as much money as businessmen,salesmen,politicians and actors easily make.

This theorem can be demonstrated by reducing it to a simple mathematical equation:

The equantion rests on two postulate:

Postulate no.1:Knowledge is power.
Postulate no.2:Time is money.

Given that: Power=Work/Time

And from postulate no.1 and no.2 we get,

Knowledge=Work/Money

Therefore,

Money=Work/Knowledge

So when knowledge goes to zero, money goes towards infinity,regardless of the value attributed to work,even if the value of work is very small.

On the contrary, when knowledge goes towards infinity, money goes towards zero,even if the value of work is high.

Conclusion:

• The less you know,the more money you definitely make.
• Those of you who have had difficulty following this will make a lot of money!!!

Addicted!!!!

My inspiration---my two E's

Eminem in music and paradox(contradiction).



















Einstein in understanding the world better.