WHTS UR CHEMISTRY
MAN PROPERTIES
ELEMENT: Man
SYMBOL: Ah (short for a**h***, a common French root used to identify the element)
DISCOVER: Eve
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length, though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches yet weigh 200+ Kg
Occurrences: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. (Experimental evidence: any beach on any coast)
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol)
Tends to fall into very low energy state dirrectly after reaction with Wo (Snore ...zzzzz)
Gains considerable mass as specimen ages loses reactive nature.
Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with poluted form of the Wo commom ore.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
Reaction Rates range from aborted/non- existant to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red and send it to react with Sa, the sex analyist)
Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
STORAGE:
Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
USES:
Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
TESTS:
Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
CAUTION:
Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.
Woman Properties
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERED BY: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Surface usually covered in painted film.
Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
Melts if given special treatment.
Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can be a great aid to relaxation.
Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
ELEMENT: Man
SYMBOL: Ah (short for a**h***, a common French root used to identify the element)
DISCOVER: Eve
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length, though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches yet weigh 200+ Kg
Occurrences: Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. (Experimental evidence: any beach on any coast)
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol)
Tends to fall into very low energy state dirrectly after reaction with Wo (Snore ...zzzzz)
Gains considerable mass as specimen ages loses reactive nature.
Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with poluted form of the Wo commom ore.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
Reaction Rates range from aborted/non- existant to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red and send it to react with Sa, the sex analyist)
Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
STORAGE:
Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
USES:
Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
TESTS:
Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
CAUTION:
Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very malleable under correct conditions.
Woman Properties
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: Wo
DISCOVERED BY: Adam
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Surface usually covered in painted film.
Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
Melts if given special treatment.
Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can be a great aid to relaxation.
Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
posted by Vignesh Iyer @ 12:22 PM
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